Not A Perfect Mom

26 comments
Me and Baby El being silly

Do you ever take a step back and realize just how much of your life is dictated by technology? Particularly ‘the image’ we try to convey to everyone else. In the age of social media we are bombarded with pictures and status updates of beautiful people, seemingly perfect families, trips, inspirational quotes and stories.

I have been guilty of this too. Sometimes I find myself writing something that sounds more like it’s out of a hallmark card or cheesy beyond cheesy and I cringe a little, but I post anyway because hey, everyone else is doing it right?

I just want to stop and take a moment to be real with you. I am not a perfect mom. It’s not my intention for you to think I am a perfect mom.

I mess up all the time. I struggle with anxiety. Sometimes I yell at my kids and get frustrated. I haven’t figured out how to parent perfectly, I’m just doing my best in the moment.

I will never be the ‘cool mom’ in my group of friends. Most of the time I look a hot mess and don’t do my hair or makeup. Usually I grab whatever clothes look semi clean out of the crib piled with laundry and put that on. I bite my nails. I have split ends.

I’m really shy. I’m not good with the spoken word. I try to be friendly, but I think I can come across as socially awkward. I don’t like to make decisions. I tend to repeat myself.

My ‘social status’ is average at best. I live in a two bedroom apartment with three kids, no A/C or laundry. We struggle to save money. We have student loan debt. Southern California is an expensive place to live.

I struggle with comparison and being content with what I have. I want the beautiful homes you see moms posting on Instagram. I want to wear the designer clothes (well not really, but maybe up my game a little bit) and look presentable at all times.

My point is maybe seeing all these images isn’t healthy for us. Most of it probably isn’t even true. It’s all for show. I realize that, I’m sure you do too. I’ve posted about pictures a bit in a previous post if you care to check it out.

I just want to reiterate that I am not perfect, do not have a perfect life, and I’m sure you don’t either. But I am happy. I am trying my best to be content. I am not a perfect mom, but I am doing my best.

26 comments on “Not A Perfect Mom”

  1. “I mess up all the time. I struggle with anxiety. Sometimes I yell at my kids and get frustrated. I haven’t figured out how to parent perfectly, I’m just doing my best in the moment.”

    I respect you for being real, and not “holier than thou” like some bloggers can be. Great post Geneva. No one is perfect, some people just try harder to look that way.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. No one is perfect…. I have been momshamed since my two babies…. that’s why I took Early Childhood Education. I needed to be certified to protect my children from practices that I don’t agree with but others try to force me to agree with….

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s just a different parenting style!
        I have breastfed all my kids and we bed shared. I STILL have two of my kids in my bed. I think it’s normal and healthy. Maybe the people ridiculing you have issues 🤔😅

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Awww….I lose my temper sometimes and I have a good talk with them…. I am not perfect and quite messy lol…. but I try my best….somehow their friends also love to hang out with me when I am at school lol…

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I absolutely LOVE this post and really needed to hear the content. I’ve been guilty of comparing my life to the lives of others, as viewed through social media and public portrayal. It’s easy to forget that you’re never seeing the whole truth. Much the same as seeing pictures of someone never tells you the full truth about them either. So many people have so many things going on. Thanks, Geneva, love the photo of you and El though, so adorable.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Such an adorable picture 😊 and nobody is perfect. I am shy, too. I spend lots of time writing on my phone or iPad every day, and I easily feel uncomfortable having conversations in real life. I think most people only show good stuff online. I even read a piece by someone who revealed that taking one photo for Instagram took her several hours to make it look effortless. I’d rather wanna show my true self and only have a few people really liking me for me, instead of acting or pretending, or showing others what they might wanna see. I often compare myself to others, too, but then I try to remind myself that I am me. Not perfect, but that is ok.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, it’s kinda unbelievable. Some people invest so much time in looking good and getting lots of likes on Instagram. Since I read that, I compare it to Hollywood: nothing is like it looks.

        Like

  5. I struggle with this all the time. Feeling like I’m not doing my absolute best. I currently have two little girls (ages 3 and 7) and I’m expecting my first boy in Feb 2020. Already I’m feeling like I’m losing it. I dont like to admit it but I’m a little unprepared. I remember how frustrating it was becoming a mother of 2. What an adjustment! I appreciate your honesty. I also desire more out of life but we just barely are making ends meet. I know I’m not alone in this but it’s very stressful.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh I understand how you are feeling! I felt so unprepared when I was pregnant with my third too, it’s a tough place to be. The adjustment for me was also very hard.

      I want to offer you hope that it will get better and easier with time. Hang in there and know this is only for a season and that you will find your new normal.

      Feel free to reach out if you have any questions about life with three kids or need a mama to vent too 🤪
      Thank you for sharing and for your honesty.

      Like

      1. Thanks, I really appreciate your kind words. I had two pages so I’m the same person who wrote the comment. I am very nervous about my new journey and I will keep you in mind if I have questions. Thank you again.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. New Page: I struggle with this all the time. Feeling like I’m not doing my absolute best. I currently have two little girls (ages 3 and 7) and I’m expecting my first boy in Feb 2020. Already I’m feeling like I’m losing it. I dont like to admit it but I’m a little unprepared. I remember how frustrating it was becoming a mother of 2. What an adjustment! I appreciate your honesty. I also desire more out of life but we just barely are making ends meet. I know I’m not alone in this but it’s very stressful.

    Like

  7. This is an awesome post. I am one of the only women in my group of friends that has a child and I constantly get the “you’re doing so great with juggling everything,” little do they know the blood, sweat and tears that goes into each and every day of raising a child, working full-time, and everything in between. That being said I wouldn’t change it for the world, and I love that your post puts emphasis the fact that its okay and normal even to not be perfect and make mistakes!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! It is hard when you have a group of people who don’t understand what you are going through (and how could they since they don’t have kids right?). I’m sure they mean well. Raising kids is such hard work and it is hard being responsible for another human being all of the time. I think sometimes the mental/emotional load of it is the hardest.
      So normal to make mistakes and not be a perfect parent! More moms should be honest about that 😉

      Like

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