Finding Your Village

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We all have bad days.

Maybe it’s not even a particularly ‘bad’ day by definition, but it certainly feels like it to you. You feel irritated, overwhelmed, like there is too much to do and not enough time to do it, like you are being pulled in twenty different directions and just can’t cope.

Phew.

I am having one of those days today. It’s no secret I struggle with anxiety. I’ve talked about my struggle a bit here. I try to be cheerful and put a positive spin on things, but there are some days where it will hit me out of nowhere. And it sucks.

And this is why you NEED a village. Someone to pull you out of the funk. The calm to your crazy. You need friends. A support system.

I live 8 hours away from most of my family so that outlet does not exist for me. There are many days where I miss my mom and wish I could call her up and hang out with her (or dump the kids on her). On top of that I am a stay at home mom so I am with my kids literally ALL day.

Me and my husband. He is my rock, the calm to my crazy, my ‘person’ as Meredith would say.

I am very fortunate to have a husband that handles my mood swings and anxiety like it’s second nature to him. I am also fortunate to have a group of friends I discovered when I moved here a few years ago. We have shared the ups and downs of parenting and watched our kids grow up together. Without my husband and without my mom friends, I would be alone with my crazy self and oh my poor kids…

So here is where you can find your village:

THE PARK

Go to the park! Moms love the park. This is where we take the kids to get out their crazy energy, to get some vitamin C, and also to find some adult conversation. This is where I found my first mom friends when I moved here. Chances are you will find someone who needs a friend as much as you do. Don’t be shy! Strike up a conversation (moms love to talk about their kids), feel out the situation (some moms already have a ton of friends and don’t seem interested in having more), get a phone number, arrange a play date.

MEETUP

This app is where my new park friend led me. From here I found an entire group of mom friends to have play dates with, celebrate holidays, birthday parties, and to have a kids free night out. Meetup is great for finding people in your area, or you can create your own group if you feel so inclined.

This is my good friend Irene. We met through Meetup and now she’s stuck with me!

CHURCH

I know church is not everyone’s cup of tea. If you are not religious then you can bypass this one. But when I did attend church I loved interacting with the older folks that have already ‘been there, done that’. There is a lot of wisdom to be had from those that have already raised their kids. Chances are you will find someone that will encourage you, listen to you, and share in your struggles without offering judgement. Churches also tend to have a ton of activities geared toward kids.

There are plenty of other places to go out and find people, but these are the few I highly recommend (especially the park).

On days like today, when my anxiety is peaked, I know that it is temporary and I am grateful for the village I have found for me and my kids. And if my daughter wasn’t sick right now I would definitely be spending time with them.

Do you have your own village? Where do you go to meet new friends?

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9 thoughts on “Finding Your Village

  1. I don’t really have a village right now, but I would say a good place to meet a village if you’re a mom is if you can put your kids in sports, or sports camps. That’s what my sister-in-law does. Most of her friends are mom friends that she’s met at hockey or soccer or baseball.

    Kids are so good in that sense. They’re like the ultimate ‘wingman’ so to speak. I’m thinking I might need to use my puppy and start walking around talking to other dog owners. lol

    I’m sorry your anxiety is high right now. If it helps, talk about it! Let it out. Sometimes even typing it can make you feel better. ❤ Sending you some love

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you Vee!
      Yes kids make great wingmen 😄
      Dogs are great for meeting people too! If you go on the Meetup app I have seen groups for people to walk their dogs together.
      I feel like WordPress has become a good support system for some of us too.
      Writing definitely helps with my anxiety. I already feel a little better.
      ❤️❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Well spoken. I am glad you have a villiage. I need to get one of those. How timely is your post for me. I have never in my adult life been a church person, but last weekend in the grip of anxiety and hangover (fellow anxiety sufferer), I did totally look up a church in my community that I believe I will mesh with and I resolved to go this coming Sunday. Unlike you I am single & childless, live alone, plus lost at sea & losing my mind lately, so I kind of need the easy and immediate (i hope!) community of church right now. I quite enjoy your posts and i’m glad i found your blog through the lovely Vee. Thanks for writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Church can be a good thing. You just need to find the right kind of people. It’s all about fellowship and being there for each other. It’s always worth a shot.
      Thank you as always for reading! I am happy if I can be of any help or make a difference. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      • So grateful for our friendship! You’re an amazing mommy inside and out, and I’m glad we all belong to the same village! See you soon amiga!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Love this post! You’re absolutely right, you should have a village. One of mine is on here with all of you lovely bloggers. I’m blessed to be around all of you and to have your pretty unconditional love and support. V has been an absolute rock and I’m so glad to have you keeping an eye out for me as well, Geneva. I’ve had a wobbly week so my new post is therapeutic in terms of just getting it out there. Hope your week gets better as it rolls along, always here for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Steve!
      I agree, WordPress has been a great way to connect with others and build a support system. I’m glad we have that connection.

      I just read your new post! How exciting for your son! He is going to do great. It is normal to have worries as a parent and it’s hard when we can’t be present with them at school to help them navigate the changes and social constructs. But it is all a part of learning and growing up. It sounds like he is a very sweet boy and will enjoy school. I’m hope your anxiety will be eased with time. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • He was really excited to go back again this morning so that’s a good sign. In typical child fashion, he “couldn’t remember” what he’d done at school yesterday. How has your week been?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ha, my son is the same way when I ask him how school was or what he did that day.
        My week has been alright. My baby has been sick so that always throws off our routine a bit. She’s on the mend though and we will be taking a mini vacay this weekend to Disneyland.
        How are you? Are you feeling less anxious about your son being in school now?

        Like

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