We all have bad days.
Maybe it’s not even a particularly ‘bad’ day by definition, but it certainly feels like it to you. You feel irritated, overwhelmed, like there is too much to do and not enough time to do it, like you are being pulled in twenty different directions and just can’t cope.
I am having one of those days today. It’s no secret I struggle with anxiety. I’ve talked about my struggle a bit here. I try to be cheerful and put a positive spin on things, but there are some days where it will hit me out of nowhere. And it sucks.
And this is why you NEED a village. Someone to pull you out of the funk. The calm to your crazy. You need friends. A support system.
I live 8 hours away from most of my family so that outlet does not exist for me. There are many days where I miss my mom and wish I could call her up and hang out with her (or dump the kids on her). On top of that I am a stay at home mom so I am with my kids literally ALL day.
I am very fortunate to have a husband that handles my mood swings and anxiety like it’s second nature to him. I am also fortunate to have a group of friends I discovered when I moved here a few years ago. We have shared the ups and downs of parenting and watched our kids grow up together. Without my husband and without my mom friends, I would be alone with my crazy self and oh my poor kids…
So here is where you can find your village:
Go to the park! Moms love the park. This is where we take the kids to get out their crazy energy, to get some vitamin C, and also to find some adult conversation. This is where I found my first mom friends when I moved here. Chances are you will find someone who needs a friend as much as you do. Don’t be shy! Strike up a conversation (moms love to talk about their kids), feel out the situation (some moms already have a ton of friends and don’t seem interested in having more), get a phone number, arrange a play date.
This app is where my new park friend led me. From here I found an entire group of mom friends to have play dates with, celebrate holidays, birthday parties, and to have a kids free night out. Meetup is great for finding people in your area, or you can create your own group if you feel so inclined.
I know church is not everyone’s cup of tea. If you are not religious then you can bypass this one. But when I did attend church I loved interacting with the older folks that have already ‘been there, done that’. There is a lot of wisdom to be had from those that have already raised their kids. Chances are you will find someone that will encourage you, listen to you, and share in your struggles without offering judgement. Churches also tend to have a ton of activities geared toward kids.
There are plenty of other places to go out and find people, but these are the few I highly recommend (especially the park).
On days like today, when my anxiety is peaked, I know that it is temporary and I am grateful for the village I have found for me and my kids. And if my daughter wasn’t sick right now I would definitely be spending time with them.
Do you have your own village? Where do you go to meet new friends?