Dear First Time Mom,
Very soon you will welcome into your life a tiny baby human. This little love is going to change your entire universe – in ways you cannot begin to even comprehend.
You may be scared. Anxious. Excited. It’s all unknown. These are all perfectly normal emotions to have in regards to such a momentous change. You may be busy stressing and preparing for your new arrival. Is the crib set up? Do I need that wipes warmer? What if breastfeeding doesn’t work out? Will I need a breast pump? Bottles? What if I’m not a good mom? What if I do everything wrong?
Stop worrying. Everything is going to be just fine. After the intense experience of birthing your baby, they will lay him/her on your chest and you will know. Trust yourself mama. Follow your instincts.
Do not listen to all the voices that tell you how to parent. Do not listen to the voices that tell you you’re doing it wrong. Advice can be welcome, but you are the mother of that baby. You know your baby best. You cannot hold your baby too much. You cannot breastfeed your baby too much. You will not spoil your baby. If it feels wrong to let your baby cry then don’t. Pick them up. Hold them. Love them.
Do not worry about all the ‘stuff’. You do not necessarily need a crib, bassinet, sleep and play rocker, and pack n play. You do not necessarily need a changing table. You may use that breast pump once and never see it again. All the nice blankets and cute outfits will get poop stains and milk stains on them.
Do not compare your baby to the next one. Your baby may not take a pacifier. Your baby may not take a bottle. Your baby may not sleep through the night. Your baby may cry incessantly. Your baby may meet milestones later than average.
It all is unimportant in the grand scheme of things. In another year none of it will matter. All the things you are worried about – the ‘stuff’, the comparisons – none of it will matter with time. What matters is that you love your child with everything you have. What matters is that you teach them, nurture them, read to them, sing to them, play with them, are the secure base for them to return home to as they grow and confidently go out into the world.
So dear mama, go into this adventure with full confidence and know that your best is enough. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. But that is the way we learn and grow in life. When they lay that little baby on your chest, and you feel the warmth of that tiny body against yours, soak it in and trust me, you will know.
From, a fellow mama of three