How are you doing?
How often do we get asked this question on a daily basis. How often do we ask others this question?
How often do you start to answer and then realize the person asking does not want the meat and potatoes – so to speak – of how you are doing? They want the classic ‘I’m good’ answer. They want the appetizer, not the entree. In some cases, for some, maybe the appetizer is enough to fill your stomach, but it will not sustain you.
Food analogies aside, it’s a very quick back and forth. More like a simple way to say hello and acknowledge someone’s presence. But what if when we asked someone how they are doing we were really making the effort and taking the time to connect with them on a deeper level and get past the superficial?
I want that. When I see my friends or family after days, weeks, sometimes months, I want them to stop and take the time to connect with me. I want to know what is happening in their lives. How is your job going? What are you struggling with right now? What are you passionate about?
I am sick of the bullshit small talk. I am sick of finally getting to spend time with friends or family and the conversation staying surface level. I want more.
And just think how often taking the time to truly listen to someone when you ask how they are doing could benefit them. What if they NEED to talk to somebody? How often do we say – after the fact – oh I wish he/she would have talked to me, I had no idea what was going on, I didn’t know he was depressed, I didn’t know that she was struggling with infertility, I didn’t know she was battling suicidal thoughts…the list goes on.
I know I am not innocent in this. I am also guilty of not reaching out as much as I should. I hate talking on the phone. I text. I need to remind myself when was the last time I reached out and checked on a close friend or a family member and really took the time to connect with them. This is a call to action for us all to do better. To think beyond the bubble of our lives we get wrapped up in.
Take the time to reach out to others. Take the time to hear them. To help them. Take the time to just listen. It can make a world of difference.
With that being said…how are you doing?