I will admit I have been suffering somewhat of a mental block the last few days. I have been writing, mostly poetry as it helps me to sort through my thoughts, but every poem I write feels like it comes from a place too deep to share. Have you ever felt or written something so personal it feels almost wrong to put out into the universe? But what do I gain by keeping it locked inside?
The more I write, the more I realize there are parts of me I have left undealt with. My mind is like a big shed in the backyard full of boxes and crates filled with old books, movies, clothes, and other useless junk. But as one sorts through the junk, you uncover the things you forgot. Or at least you thought you forgot. And once you uncover them it is hard to just throw them back in the box and shut the shed. These hidden hurts, hidden thoughts and feelings linger, waiting to be discovered again. To put it bluntly, I need to clean out my shed.
It’s hard to know where to start. The process looks and feels daunting. Part of me just wants to ignore it and move on with my life like most people do. But I truly believe there is power in being vulnerable and knowing what has hurt us. Because what has hurt us can often times control us. I do not want to live controlled by my past hurt.
So what does it mean to be vulnerable? For me it means letting go. It means sharing. Being able to trust. It is opening myself up to hurt, understanding it, and allowing myself to heal.
What does vulnerability mean to you?